I am a sensualist, a good cook, an artist, and a pain in the ass. I swear when I drive. I can speak Russian like a native five-year old (on a good day). I own power tools, and I know how to use them. I was married once, long ago, but I was young and stupid, so I like to count it as just a practice run.

I like people with wicked-sharp senses of humor, but who are not afraid of silences. People who catch the details in life, because I seem to keep missing them. People that will laugh at my obscure references and satirical jokes. Subtitles should appeal to you. No homophobes, racists, or conservatives, please.